Tea is the root of all half-baked ideas

If greed is the root of all evil and absolute power corrupts absolutely [with evil], then surely the best rulers would be ones who aren't greedy. Indeed, history seems to corroborate this theory.

Now we don't have a drug that "cures" greed, but understanding of human nature is improving at the speed of science. We've already identified genes that are linked to gayness, religion, political alignment. So what if we could reduce greediness with gene therapy or drugs.

Would our politicians swallow the pill? Would this be the start of something beautiful(--like a novel)? Or is greed what makes us fallible, functional, and ultimately human? Thoughts? Rebuttals? Plot ideas?

Cuisine Rant

Dear CHINESE PEOPLE,

I know you're new to this whole meat-cooking thing, but you can't just ground up every cut of meat, pour some salt and MSG on it and stir-fry away. Wel...you CAN, but I can promise you the cow didn't give up her life to be turned into bland crap. I mean if you're going to ruin your health anyway with a hunk of red meat, at least take some tips from people who are experts in ruining their health--the South. I know you already know "stir-fry", but here's some supplementary English for you: broil, grill, smoke, barbecue, rotisserie--marinate, rub, massage. Oh, and stop making "desserts" with bean paste. A dessert, by definition, is at least 50% butter. And that's the secret to a short but delicious life.


Dear AMERICANS,

You are hereby banned from using tofu. Ever. Stop shitting on our thousands of years of experience with it and making those ungodly vegetarian patties. I mean who the fuck are you fooling with tofurkey? Why don't you stop molding it into other shit and learn to cook it by itself--spectacular dishes from home-style tofu to spicy numb tofu (unfortunate translation). And while you're at it, stop boiling all your goddamn vegetables. No wonder your kids don't eat their spinach--because it reminds them of the pile of goop you called peas yesterday. Which reminds them of diarrhea.