Many years ago, I wrote the first chapter of my life "Elementary School", carefully in crayon on one those papers with the dotted line in the middle of each line to help you align your p's and j's. A few weeks ago, I hastily typed the last few sage words of Chapter 4 "College", eager to begin the next. Oh it would be an exciting (final) chapter--"
REAL LIFE". Full of
excitement! Double exclamation points!! And more plot twists than M. Night Shyamalan could dream up.
It begins (with a bang):
-- Went to work today. Went to work yesterday. Going to work tomorrow. And everyday after that. For the rest of my life.And no number of exclamation marks is going to make that any more exciting.
So here are the options:
- Get used to it. Sell my soul to various corporations and try to make enough to buy it back when I'm 65.
- Keep my soul. Become one of those Bum 2.0s, twittering about how some asshole just dropped Canadian money in my cup. What the hell am I supposed to do with Canadian money?
Well, gosh darnit, I'm going to flip a coin. Someone give me a quarter?
Keep your soul. We're getting a vineyard. Steal one if we have to. You'll produce the wine and eagles, I'll tend to the vegetables/fruits/farm animals, freddy will harvest the cocoa beans (which will go directly to the on-site coffeeshop/bar). We'll be completely self-sustaining and awesome. This plan is flawless I tell you.
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